On Wednesday I got engaged to my best friend and the man who I feel I was put on this earth to love. He proposed at sunset, on the beach in Santa Teresa, Costa Rica. We had just ended a day of magical adventures — from waterfall climbs and cliff dives to synchronistic run-ins with local guides. Butterfly gardens and eating just-caught fish turned into a beach and jungle sunset horseback ride, and him popping the “Will you marry me?” on one knee question.  

I am beaming. I am grateful. I feel like the luckiest woman on earth. My heart is exploding. I wonder, How did this come to be? 

When I reflect back on the whirlwind of connection, love, serendipity, compatibility and unwavering commitment that has emerged since we met, I wonder how and why we happened to be in the same place, time and readiness to fall deeply in love?

A few things are very clear.

Every decision I’ve made, every experience I’ve had, and every lover I’ve shared time with has led me to meeting him. Each gave me the lessons I needed to fall more deeply in love with me, opening me up to the deepest kind of love, and ultimately preparing me to make the most important (and easiest) decision of my life: who to spend the rest of my time with. 

Trusting the process, fully experiencing every situation I created in my life, and growing from what emerged is what brought me to today. It’s what made me ready for wholehearted love. That readiness is a choice. I decided what I was and was not ready for, and the circumstances around me always reflected that choice.

Men who were not interested in commitment reflected my inability to commit to the relationship with myself. Men who treated me poorly reflected my internal battles. It was through committing to me, the rituals that enliven me, and work that awakens others (as well as myself) that I stepped into being ready for the most important gifts in life. 

The readiness for big love. The readiness to develop an enthralling future together. The readiness for fulfilling work and an awe-inspiring team. The readiness to be fully alive, every day. 

Whether we’re conscious of it or not, we form intentions all the time. The clearer and more conscious our intentions, the more likely we bring them into existence. 

A month before I met Farhad, I visualized him.

No joke. I envisioned exactly what he’d be like. Over lunch, a girlfriend shared that she felt I was ready for “big love.” I fully agreed and was eager to dive into this conversation and begin visualizing what he’d be like. 

First, I imagined his heart. He is generous, full of life and energy, and only has eyes for me. His heart is so pure and kind that you can feel it in his presence. He embodies love. 

Next, I imagined how I’d act with him. I saw myself in full self-expression. Feminine. Free. Open. Whole. Loving. Fully me. He is the stable sand and I am the crashing ocean. He is the ignitable match and I am the spreading fire. We are inseparable. Touch is our love language. 

Then, I envisioned our life together. We share the same Why of unlocking human potential. We pursue our individual purposes in parallel, crossing over to collaborate as it makes sense. Most of all, we are pillars of support, love, and encouragement for one another. We challenge limitations, explore the world, and are beacons of love and light together. We work our love and enjoy all that life has to offer. 

Last, I envisioned what he’d look like. This part gives me chills to think about now. “He’s 6’1 and 185 pounds. Dark hair and 31 years old,” I told my friend. And that, he is exactly.  

I met Farhad one month after setting this intention and visualizing him. It very quickly became clear we were put on this earth to love each other. A month in, we decided we’d spend the rest of our lives together. Two months in, we moved in together. Five months in, we decided to live bi-coastal. Six and a half months in, we’re engaged. 

If you want something, visualize it. Fully embrace and experience wherever you are now, taking the gifts that the moment holds for you. Imagine what your future feels like and looks like. Envision how it works and why. Picture it in as much detail as possible. 

Your future is waiting for you and you hold the keys inside. 

—

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Special shout out to Daniel Epstein for introducing us, Zaydelbagel for inspiring us to visit Costa Rica, and Nisha Moodley for recommending Santa Teresa. 

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Late last night, I rode the subway home, exhausted from a full day. The couple sitting next to me was playing a loud game on their computer.  

“Do they not realize how disruptive they are?” I thought to myself. “Why on earth are they playing that game right now?!” I became increasingly frustrated with every new sound. Mid-negative thought storm, I checked in with myself and realized, “Why am I getting upset with them when I’m not doing anything about it?” 

I recognized I had three choices. I could either: 

A. Be annoyed and let the situation cloud over my sunny day,
B. Let go, or
C. Speak up and ask if they mind turning the volume down. 

I chose C and they politely agreed. I was surprised to hear a sigh of relief from the crowd around me once the volume was turned off. I wondered how many others were mid-negative thought storm but not doing anything about it.  

This situation got me thinking: how often do we choose not to speak up and instead cause ourselves frustration? 

How often do we blame other people for our inability to take responsibility for the situation and ask for what we want?

A client of mine recently discovered that family life and pursuing his talents outside corporate world are of significant importance to him. Even though he’s been doing the corporate thing for nearly 14 years, and works for a very conservative company without flexible work policies, he decided to stop blaming the company and instead speak up. He proposed working from home part-time and the company agreed. He’s the first employee to successfully make the transition, and my guess is that he won’t be the last.

About six months ago I worked with a incredibly creative woman who did freelance design and strategy work. She felt especially connected to one of her clients and wanted to work with them full-time, but she didn’t think there was enough money in the game to support herself. Instead, she hustled with other clients on the side to make ends meet and ended up feeling scattered and spread too thin. One day I asked her, “Have you told your favorite client that you’d love to provide more value for them and work only with them?” She hadn’t. Two weeks later she dropped her side hustle and got a 50% salary increase and a signing bonus. Speaking up changed the trajectory of her life. 

The circumstances in front of us are often flexible. Sometimes living our ideal life is simply a matter of speaking up. 

—

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Thanks to the Q train for inspiring this post, wrdbnr for the image, and Farhad for reading the draft.

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Recently, I had this feeling I was going to meet someone who would help me more deeply explore and navigate the world of holistic health. I had a feeling that this person would be a breath of fresh air, carrying with them a refreshing perspective on healthy living. These glimpses of who I’m about to meet don’t show up often, but when they do, this person comes into my life soon after.

And sure enough she did. A few weeks ago I re-met college girlfriend Ciara. Though we were never super close at university, it seems we’ve been on parallel paths, coming into each other’s lives just in time to kindle our kindred spirits. More than a holistic health coach, Ciara has the unique ability to identify and draw out your essence. Every conversation we have evokes a new paradigm shift around nourished and fulfilled living. 

Since the man and I are heading to Costa Rica next Friday for a few weeks, I asked her how she gets bikini-ready. She skipped over the talk about rigid schedules and restriction and went straight for visualizing and emulating desired feelings of being light, free, radiant, and sexy. She believes that weight loss is a mind game (like most things), and I couldn’t agree more.

The major breakthrough for me happened when she talked about primary and secondary foods. Primary foods are all the things that nourish you and give you joy outside of food. Secondary foods are the whole foods and nutritious gifts that give life to our bodies.

The most important step, she shared, is to add in primary foods that nourish the soul. Pick up a good book and fall in love. Go on a long walk with a friend. Turn up the music and get your dance on. Send a love note. Do what enriches you and you’ll crowd out all the bad stuff like emotional eating and unwanted weight. 

“YES!” I thought to myself. “Finally someone who has a deeper understanding  of nourishment and fulfillment.”

With this new perspective shift, I created the below “Nourishment Sandbox” which maps out my primary foods as well as the secondary food “Yays” and “Nays” that make me feel at my best. 

The man and I are following suit as we prepare for our Costa Rica travels, and plan to revisit our “sandbox” on a bi-monthly basis to check in on what is and is not working. 

What’s in your sandbox?

—

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Thanks to Ciara for inspiring this and Farhad for reading the draft.

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Though spring is my favorite time of year (hello flowers! and sunshine! and warm weather!), bikini season has long been my worst enemy. My perfectionist tendencies seem to bubble up ever so strongly and I find myself obsessing about every single thing I consume. Talk about a recipe for disaster! 

But this year that’s changing. I feel something inside of me shifting in a major way. Instead of criticizing my body, I’m appreciating my curves and moving my body more. Rather than worrying about the amount of calories in that third glass of wine, I’m naturally gravitating toward sparking water in a champagne glass. Instead of calorie counting, I’m savoring every last juicy bite of mango. My phase of negative self-talk and food scarcity is transitioning into treating my body like a temple and feeling radiant. 

This shift has been a long time coming. I distinctly remember being a thirteen-year-old that didn’t think I was thin enough. I cringed looking at myself in the mirror because I wanted a firmer stomach. I wanted lighter lips, bigger eyes, and straighter hair. In the years after, I went through periods of using laxatives when I ate too much, taking adderall to curb my appetite, and obsessive calorie counting. In college, I oscillated between a “chubby” size 8 and a make-my-Mom-cry size 0.  I was in full-on scarcity mode when it came to food. I was afraid of not being beautiful enough. I was scared of not being loved. I was so centered on what I was lacking that I lost sight of what I had inside. 

As I reflect back on the most challenging times (which holy crap I am fully reliving as I write this), what surfaces is my inability to reach out. I kept everything inside. I masked my pain behind the straight A’s, strong work ethic, and tipsy nights out. I attracted painful relationships into my life, and I gave gave gave to prove I was enough. 

Thankfully, the last few years have been a more nourishing ride. Rather than focusing on what I’m not, I’ve shifted to recognizing what I am. And I am love. You are too. We all are. Everything I need to be fully and completely in love with myself and my body lies within me, it’s just a matter of getting out of my own way. It’s a process of recognizing the emotions behind my actions to understand what’s really going on. It’s about getting curious rather than judging.  

The path here hasn’t been easy. For every three steps I take forward, I take a step back. Forward, back. Forward, back. Forward, back. From working out twice a day for three months to resisting the running shoes to finding ways to move my body in ways that move my soul. From not drinking for three months to really enjoying the pleasure of wine to finding new outlets of pleasure. Forward, back. Forward, back. Forward, back. The natural cycle of growth. The natural cycle of going beyond what I think I “should” be doing to discover what fulfills my soul.

Although now my relationship with my body is healthier than ever, I know there’s still work to be done. There always will be. 

I recently let my man in on some of my past battles and current struggles. Even though I’ve never felt so comfortable and free to fully be myself with any other human being, I was petrified to talk with him about this. “I just need to tell you how sexy you are more often!” he said lovingly. I was then comforted to hear that he’s working through his own challenges. This then presented an opportunity for us to grow together. Shared struggle means shared opportunity and shared growth. The simple act of openness and honesty has done wonders for our relationship and understanding of each other.

With newfound confidence to be open about this topic, I started going deep with more and more people. I was surprised to learn that I am not alone. “What woman hasn’t had an eating disorder?!” one friend exclaimed. “I’ve always felt too thin,” a guy friend shared. It seemed that in every conversation there was a “not enough” complex. Not strong enough. Not thin enough. Not tall enough. Too hairy. Breasts too small. Butt too big. Calfs too weak. Shoulders too wide. Nose too long. Eyes too large.

The emphasis — and the crux of the struggle — seems to be rooted in two fears: the fear of not being good enough and the fear of not being loved. 

So how do we accept ourselves? Love ourselves? And be beacons of light, strength, freedom, and acceptance? How do we emulate the core feelings we desire and feel missing in our lives?

While I don’t know know the answers yet, and I’m not sure where this journey is taking me, what I do know is that I feel ever so pulled toward the world of holistic health and healing. Let’s see where this goes… Forward, back. Forward, back. Forward, back. 

—

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Thanks to Ciara and Nate for inspiring this post, and Nate and Farhad for reading the draft.

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“I hear you,” I said to my Mom on the phone this morning after she dropped some entrepreneurial wisdom on me. 

“Great,” she said. “Now I don’t have to repeat myself three times.”

My brain exploded as I experienced a very simple yet big breakthrough for our relationship: acknowledge what Mom is saying so that she feels heard. 

For years, a point of friction for us has been when she repeats something three, four, or five times. 

Frustrated, I’d say, “I know. You’ve told me that three times already.”

“Just making sure you got it,” she’d say.

I never understood why she’d repeat herself because I was focusing on my experience rather than her experience. 

The way I process information is I internalize what she says, check in with my inner guide to see if it resonates, and then either act or let go. But, the MAJOR missing piece is acknowledgment. So, even with good intentions and feeling like I hear Mom, I’m not really listening when I don’t acknowledge her perspective. 

“I hear you.” Three simple words that will improve your communication and relationships.

p.s. Looking to structure your day and week for peak creativity, minimum insanity, and continuous growth? Check out my most recent Fast Company article. 

—

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Thanks to Momma Bear for inspiring this post, and Farhad for reading the draft.

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Yesterday my man left for a 5-day solo reflection and meditation retreat. After five years (and maybe longer) of 12+ hour days seven days per week, he decided to take a step back to clear his head. 

He’s the kind of guy who gives so much to everyone, who see’s the potential in all, and makes sure everyone else is well before taking care of himself. As much as I love his generosity and big heart, I’m so thrilled to see him taking a step back for some personal time.

To encourage him to think more deeply about his priorities, how he spends his time, and what a fulfilling life looks like to him, I handmade him a “reflection journal” with questions, exercises and inspiring quotes. 

The first exercise in the book is called “The Death Bed” exercise, which helps you gain clarity on the bigger picture and what a magnificent life looks like long-term.

Here’s a snapshot from the journal I made:

Here’s how it works:

You’re on your death bed, looking back on your one magnificently fulfilling, magical, and purposeful life. Certain milestones and achievements warm your heart, bring about deep joy, and provoke a tingling sensation throughout your body. These are the most important of the most important.

Part 1: Pull out a sheet of paper. What are your top 10?

After sending my man off, I dropped into a coffee shop to dive into this exercise so we can compare notes when he returns. Here’s what I came up with.

1 - Traveling the world with Farhad for 6 mo to 1 year after we get married and before starting a family.

2 - Creating a tight-knit, loving, and adventurous family that celebrates each other’s uniqueness and brings out each other’s gifts. 

3 - Bold becomes a legacy business, outliving me. We last by optimizing for lifestyle, building a “Hell yes!” culture that accelerates all staff, and inspire all we touch to create lives that drive them and the world forward. 

4 - Taking care of my health so that I’m strong, healthy, and energized every day (while still enjoying wine and chocolate).

5 - Cultivating incredibly deep and tight-knit relationships, choosing quality over quantity.

6 - Building a new way of learning for kids that emphasizes curiosity and creativity, entrepreneurial thinking, and the ability to process emotions, communicate needs, and take initiative. (Bold for Kids?)

7 - Unconventional destination wedding with all the people we love.

8 - Being my word: living every day like an adventure, listening to my inner voice, acting on callings, leading with love, continually going outside my comfort zone, self-care/rituals.

9 - Going to the moon. 

10 - Publishing a series of books on inspired doing, living and loving.

What’s on your list?

Part 2: Circle your top 5. These are the most important of the most important.

The point of the Top 5 is not to say that you can’t have more than 5 major milestones in your life, but to really get clear on “The Most Important of the Most Important.” This way, when new opportunities come your way, you can check into your “Top 5” and reflect on where things stand. This adds perspective when making decisions about doing more, since doing more can sometimes lead to doing less of what matters.

Picking my Top 3 was a no brainer, and were the first three that immediately came to me when I made the top 10 list. 

1 - Traveling the world with Farhad for 6 mo to 1 year after we get married and before starting a family.

2 - Creating a tight-knit, loving, and adventurous family that celebrates each other’s uniqueness and brings out each other’s gifts. 

3 - Bold becomes a legacy business, outliving me. We last by optimizing for lifestyle, building a “Hell yes!” culture that accelerates all staff, and inspire all we touch to create lives that drive them and the world forward. 

But picking 4 and 5 was much harder as the other ones felt so exciting. But, I finally landed on the connection and integrity intentions, realizing that those bring to life everything else. 

5 - Cultivating incredibly deep and tight-knit relationships, choosing quality over quantity.

8 - Being my word: living every day like an adventure, listening to my inner voice, acting on callings, leading with love, continually going outside my comfort zone, self-care/rituals.

What are your top 5? 

—

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Thanks to Farhad for inspiring the post, and Melissa for reading the draft.

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What many Bold Academy participants (aka “Bolders”) and clients of mine have in common is that they’re making a lot of important decisions.

Do I leave my job and start something?

Do I stay at my job, start something on the side, and leave when we reach a certain point? 

Is what I’ve been working on for X days/months/years really worth it?

Knowing when to quit and when to stick can be daunting, especially when you’ve invested a lot of time and energy.

Before launching Bold, I committed to working with some friends at The Unreasonable Institute. They’re an incredible accelerator for entrepreneurs focused on solving social and environment challenges. I was (and still am) obsessed with the team, and felt privileged to work side-by-side with people I deeply respected. We committed to a three-month trial, they gave me the title of “Chief Communications Officer,” and agreed to me continuing life design client work on the side.

About a month into working with them (and after working with other companies for the previous four years), I realized that I needed to finally give myself the space to realize and build out the human potential vision I felt burning inside of me. 

“Do I quit or do I stick?” I kept asking myself. The decision haunted me for over a week.

I ultimately decided to say farewell with love and focus on empowering people to realize their full potential. One month later the idea for Bold was born. 

If you’re wondering whether to quit or stick, here are some questions to ask yourself to ensure you’re doing what matters:

Why am I doing this? Knowing the motivations behind your actions will create awareness and choice. Keep asking yourself why until you reveal the deeper layers. 

What is the transformative shift I aim to evoke in society? Will what I’m doing right now enable me to further this? Do you want to empower people to fulfill their full potential? Accelerate social entrepreneurs? Motivate people to make healthier food choices? Inspire people to stay fit by making movement fun? Bring creativity and curiosity into the classroom? Whatever your driving force, make sure your current actions align with your intentions. 

What else can I be doing? Think about the amount of time you’re spending doing what you’re doing right now. Imagine how else you might spend that time. Is what you’re doing right now really worth it? 

Another strategy, which I came across today in a Fast Company article by the Heath Brothers, is called the 10/10/10 rule. It will help you get some distance on the decision. Ask yourself:

How will I feel about it 10 minutes from now?

How about 10 months from now?

How about 10 years from now?

Ultimately, I continually remind myself that all decisions are progress, and making decisions is better than not. I don’t have to live with a decision forever, and I can always course correct later. 

—

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Thanks to bikram yoga for inspiring this post, and Farhad for reading the draft.

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In the last week, five or so people have approached me with questions around priorities, discipline, and getting things done.

“I’m not as productive as I’d like to be right now.”

“I push things away that I don’t want to deal with.”

“I’m feeling more drained and tired than usual.”

My first two questions always are:

1) What do you have on your plate right now? (aka what are your priorities?)

2) Do your priorities enthrall you?

The answer to these questions typically reveals seven priorities, half of which are draining, which leads to a discussion around “Why are you doing so many things?”

In my personal experience, the times when I have way too much on my plate, I’m trying to compensate for an emptiness that I’m feeling. If I’m “crazy busy,” my life is sure as hell “meaningful.”

But I don’t want to feel crazy busy. I want to feel inspired, free and alive. I want to savor every bite of my food, host spontaneous solo dance parties in my bedroom, and have days with large gapping holes in my schedule so I can explore San Francisco and get lost. I want to act how I want to feel. And I bet you do too. 

How do you want to FEEL every day? 

Once you identify how you want to feel, try this process for prioritization and planning.

As far as doing things that enthrall you, as part of life, there are of course going to be tasks that we don’t want to do. Today was one of those days for me. I spent the morning organizing my finances and getting Bold prepared for taxes. These are two activities that make me want to cry in a corner. Since crying in a corner is not going to serve me or get my taxes done any faster, here’s a process I use for checking in and batching “hate you but have to do you” tasks.

1. Check in. I follow an 85:15 rule. About 85% of what I do energizes and enthralls me. About 15% is stuff I hate doing but have to do. If you think about that in terms of a month, that means I spend 4-5 days doing things I dislike. 

To check in, ask yourself, “How much time am I spending doing what drains me?” If it’s more than 15%, or 4 to 5 days per month, ask yourself:

• Do I really need/want to do this? 
• Who can do this just as well as me that I can delegate to?

Keep in mind that there may be times when doing what you’re not particularly thrilled to do may be worth it. The work I did with Seth Godin didn’t energize me every day but the purpose behind what we were doing and the growth I experienced was absolutely worth it. 

2. Batch. For a while, I noticed that I spent more time thinking about the things I didn’t want to do than actually doing them. The emotional build up of not doing that action far outweighed the time spent on the actual task. What I’ve realized is that if I spend every day doing bits of things I don’t like, it messes with my flow. That’s why I batch “hate you but have to do you” tasks into one day per week. Wednesday is that day for me. 

Now I don’t have to think about not doing something. I delegate those tasks to Wednesday, and do them first thing in the morning (after my morning rituals) before allowing myself to work on the things I enjoy. What I’ve found is that on most Wednesdays, I’m done with these tasks by 12 or 1pm. And after getting it done, I feel relieved and accomplished and proud of not putting it off. 

3. Celebrate your small wins. To balance out Wednesdays, I plan energizing and relaxing activities for late afternoon or evening. Wine with the beau, tea with a girlfriend. Tonight, the man and I are heading to a bikram yoga class. The perfect way to end a taxing day. 

—

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Thanks to Wesley and Phil for inspiring this post, and Farhad and Jeremy for reading the draft.

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A few years ago I heard a story about success and achievement that deeply resonated with me and has stuck with me since.

A speaker (I can’t remember who) was presenting in front of a room of Fortune 100 executives. 

He asked the group: “How many of you achieved success over the last year? You experienced returns on investment and reached quarterly goals.”

Almost the entire room raised their hands. 

He then asked the group: “How many of you feel successful in the work that you do?

Three people raised their hands.

Achieving success is not the same as feeling successful.

We think of achievement as doing and having, strategic plans and to-do lists. 

But why do we do those things? We do those things because we are driven by an innate desire to feel a certain way.

Being > Doing > Having

The key then is to start with how we want to feel, and who we want to be. 

How do you want to feel when you wake up in the morning? Start your day? Walk into your office? Reach that big, scary goal? See the person you love? Close your eyes and fall asleep? 

Clarify how you want to feel, in every moment of every day, and build your life around that way of being. 

—

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Thanks to Andrew, Farhad and Shannon for inspiring this post and reading the draft.

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Want to inspire lasting change? Don’t tell somehow how you want them to change. Don’t nag them to do things a certain way. Instead, be the example and show them there’s a better way. Set a stage such that they get to experience what’s possible. 

Have a teammate who is always late for meetings? Start without them and don’t restart or catch them up when they arrive. 

Want your partner to work out more? Be consistent with your exercise routine.

Want your children to do work they love? Find what makes you come alive and go do it. 

Want your workaholic friends to get more sleep? Wake up and go to sleep at the same time every day, showing them how consistent sleep impacts productivity.

To inspire change, we must be the best versions of ourselves, setting the example for those around us. We must be our word, do more than we say we will, and do it with love. 

Lasting change starts slow. Sometimes we need to experience pain before deciding to change, which is why it takes some smokers cancer to quit the bad habit. It’s why kids put their hand on a stove and never do it again. It’s why conflict in a relationship can lead to greater depth and intimacy. 

Take a moment to reflect: What is the change you’re making? Who are you influencing? Why will the change positively impact those people? How can you get them to experience the possibility of that change? 

—

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Thanks to my morning run for inspiring this post and Farhad for reading the draft. 

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When we live as our best selves, we’re poised to do our best work, build the most fulfilling relationships, and ultimately create a better world. When at our best, we live in integrity with our values and beliefs, inspiring those around us to do the same. 

A past client of mine was a CEO at a $100M company. He came to me one day and said that if he kept doing what he was doing, he’d have a heart attack in the next five years. Though he appeared happy and successful on the outside, he was dying on the inside. This was a major red flag for me and so we worked on redesigning and reengineering his life, with an emphasis on self-care and restructuring his business commitments. Within a few months, he sold his company, started another, and is now off living a more aligned life. 

Another past client of mine, a stock trader in Hong Kong, came to me feeling anxious in his work and stuck in his career. He aspired to start his own thing but wasn’t sure where to begin. Within three months he went from spreadsheets and cubicles to his camera and passport. He’s been traveling the world since, taking photos of the people and places that inspire him. He recently became a featured Instagram photographer, enabling him to reach and inspire more people with his work.

What I’ve realized in working with clients of all shapes and sizes is that we all get stuck. We all experience ebbs and flows. We all find ourselves in ruts. It’s abnormal not to. Here’s a simple process to help you identify what’s not working and begin making changes today.

Step one: Audit.

Reflect on the different areas of your life. Ask yourself, “Is ___ making me feel like the best version of myself?”

Is your work? Your community? Relationship? Health routine? Eating habits? Morning routine? Spending patterns? Communication style? Etc. 

Make note of which area(s) you want to focus on improving.

Step two: Manifestation.

Nisha Moodley recently shared with me “The Manifestion Equation” which is a tool for actualizing the changes you desire. 

Here’s how it works: Appreciation + Intention + Intuitive Action = The Manifestation Equation

In thinking about one of your areas of growth, apply the equation:

Appreciate. Notice the present state without judgement. Think about the facts without adding drama. (Ie: “I’m ready to lose 10 lbs,” not “I’m overweight and unattractive and need to lose weight.”) 

+

Set an intention. Imagine yourself reaching your goal. A memory is a feeling about the past and an intention is a feeling about the future. So think about the ideal future and let yourself marvel at how good it feels. Paint yourself a picture of that happy place. 

+

Take Intuitive Action. What is one small step you will take today to begin manifesting what you desire? Ask yourself this question each day for the next week. Act and repeat.

Whether your work is currently unfulfilling, your exercise routine is out of whack, or your relationship isn’t where it used to be, small steps taken today will create large changes in the coming weeks. You got this.

—

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Six weeks ago, I felt a sudden urge to visit Los Angeles. The weather was starting to turn in Boulder, I was beginning to feel antsy, and I felt called to SoCal. So I booked a ticket. 

As the plane descended into LAX, I watched the beach and mountains unfold through the tiny airplane window. Suddenly, I was overtaken by a feeling of natural familiarity—the same feeling I experienced when descending onto San Francisco, New York City and Boulder for the first time.

“Uh oh,” I texted my Mom upon landing.

“Are you moving to LA?” she asked.

“Not yet,” I said, laughing. “It probably wouldn’t happen until Spring.”  

“Feel it out,” she said.

“Always.”

Feel it out I did.

From serendiptious run-ins with close friends to inspiring walks along the beach to productive Bold strategy sessions, LA handed me a perfect dose of living, working and playing.

Like most of my past travel, I felt refreshed and enlivened by the energy of new sights, sounds and faces. But something about this trip felt different. I felt different. 

I wasn’t journeying to reflect, think, or process. I wasn’t using the trip to disconnect from my way-too-full plate. And I wasn’t taking time off to figure out how I could fully commit to the work I’m meant to be doing. 

Instead, I was living and breathing my purpose. I was connecting with like-minded people who care deeply about unrealized potential. And I was moving the agreements on my just-full-enough plate forward.  

“Why not move here for the fall?” my friend Geada said over dinner, planting a seed in my mind.

“Experiment!” said Terri, my friend and colleague.

That evening I browsed Craiglist to check pricing and availability for short-term leases. But then fate stepped in. 

A sleepover with new friend Julia led to an evening of lady talk and bonding, and an invitation to move in to her beachside pad in Marina del Rey. The next day, a phone call with a friend looking for a room in Boulder took care of rent at my place. 

10 days later, I arrived in LA with two suitcases and a smile. Today, I’m one week into my two-month LA experiment. 

A month ago I didn’t think biking along Venice Beach would soon become my new favorite hobby. I also didn’t realize how much LA would resonate. Such is the beauty of life, letting go and following inspiration. That’s when things, in my experience, tend to fall into place.

Or, as my dear friend Shannon says, “There is no such thing as falling into place. The universe is organizing your purpose through the law of least effort, and the law of give to receive.”

So follow your inspiration, let go and be open to receiving. 

—

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Thanks to LA for inspiring this post, and Nate for reading it. 

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Since The Bold Academy ended in July, and with applications for SF now open as of today, people often ask me about the outcomes and results. That’s when I like to tell stories.

One of my favorite stories is of Whitney Flight. In her words:

At The Bold Academy, I cultivated my initial flirtation with “yes” into a full-fledged love affair. I learned the beauty of saying “yes” despite fear; for fear is simply the indicator that you’re on the right path to your greatest potential.

Experiencing that beautiful actualization meant embracing an amazing group of intentional individuals poised to change the world. It meant that I was a member of the winning Bold Hu$tle team – raising $20,500 in less than 24 hours. It meant accepting a job in line with my passion for community, food and sustainability just two days before Bold ended. It meant reshaping my skills and passions into my own creative consulting business, and joining the next Bold team as Visual Storyteller and Communications Apprentice. It meant encouraging my true identity and potential to surface.

I vividly remember going to lunch with Whitney, the other members of her winning Bold Hu$tle team, and Aaron, the angel investor in town who cut the group a $10K check because he thought the idea was just crazy enough for him to get involved. 

Mid-way through the lunch, Aaron asked the group about their next steps. As each person spoke, I experienced what I imagine it feels like for a mother who is so proud of her kids for what they’ve accomplished. I listened with immense gratitude and pride, beaming with joy, and anticipatory for where their lives would take them.

When Whitney spoke about her next steps, she spoke of her rediscovered love for food, community, and sustainability—but she wasn’t yet sure of where to take these interests.

That’s when fate stepped in. Aaron’s wife happens to own and run a popular farm-to-table dinner series in Boulder where an opportunity opened a few days prior. 

“I think you’re perfect for the job,” Aaron said.

And perfect she was. Two days later she canceled her return ticket home. She moved to Boulder without a place to live or a car to drive in order to accept this once-in-a-lifetime job offer. (The next day, she had a car, a place to live, and a newfound life direction.)

“You have to let me know when you’re raising capital,” Aaron said to the team when we finished the lunch. “I want to be the first to invest.” 

It’s stories like Whitney’s that give me goosebumps and show me the power of what we’re doing at Bold. The magic lies in the unforeseeable moments, the encounters and coincidences that will forever change life trajectories.

If you’re ready to accelerate the trajectory of your life, Bold SF applications are now open and rolling, which means procrastination is your enemy.

—

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Thanks to Whitney for inspiring it and Nate for reading the draft.

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“What makes you vulernable makes you beautiful.” - Brené Brown

One of my favorite TED talks is by Brené Brown on the Power of Vulnerability. The premise is that connection is why we’re here, and in order for connection to happen, we have to allow ourselves to be seen. 

She encourages us to take off our masks, to have the courage to be imperfect, the strength to love ourselves first, and the guts to let go of who we think we should be to become who we really are.

Inspired by her incredible talk, here are five ways to experience the power of vulnerability so you come alive to your most authentic self:

1. Be real. If you’re scared, say you’re scared. If you don’t know, say you don’t know. If you made a mistake, say you made a mistake. If you feel hurt, say you’re hurt. If you’re in love, say you’re in love.

Earlier this year I spoke in front of about 100 advertising agency executives. I was asked to come out and tell my story because I represent the “Doer” demographic that their campaign is targeting. It was my first paid speaking gig, they asked me to present for 90 minutes, and told me to just “be me!” 

I felt nervous and excited. I wondered “Why me?” I hoped the story I was about to tell would resonate. I felt self-conscious talking about my journey for 90 minutes. I felt humbled for being invited.

With all of these thoughts and feelings swirling, I took a deep breath and walked to the front of the room. Before diving into my story, I kept it real and said, “I have to be honest. You guys are all really awesome and I’m nervous as hell right now!” The audience laughed and connected with me, and I felt my body relax, making it easier for me to open up and dive into my personal journey. 

After the talk, people complimented me for being so open and honest. Had I not admitted the feelings I was experiencing from the start, I’m not sure I would have connected as deeply with the audience.

2. Act with no guarantees. Ideas are safe. The idea of true love, the vision of a better world, the image of your perfect lifestyle. We can sit safely in our imaginations all day or we can fully commit to taking action, embracing the notion that we might fail or get hurt. 

When we decided to make The Bold Academy happen last February, I never could have predicted the ups and the downs, the joy and the pain of bringing an idea to fruition in four months. But I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat. The most painful moments were the greatest lessons. Now we can’t wait to do it again—this time with an arsenal of learnings. 

What idea or notion or dream can you not get out of your head? What’s one small action step you can take today? For example, tell a friend your dream, write down your idea and share it with others, talk to your target customer about the idea, tell someone you love them, go for a run, do 15 push-ups, etc. Small steps taken every day lead to big changes. 

3. Ask for help. By admitting your weaknesses, you make room for other people’s gifts. 

Growing up, I thought asking for help meant weakness. I instead attempted to do everything myself. Perfectly. In my first post-college job at a start-up digital agency, whenever the CEO or Partners asked me if I knew how to do something (and I didn’t know), I’d say, “No, but I can figure it out.” Curiosity was my driver but so was the desire to do everything well. I eventually learned that trying to do everything well would turn into not doing anything particularly well. 

If you notice yourself trying to do everything yourself, take a step back and evaluate which aspects of the project or situation energize and excite you. Write them down. Then make a list of the areas that exhaust you. Seek help where you’re exhausted. 

4. Get rejected. No makes room for the right Yes.

In college, my friend Daniel started something called “Project Paradox” to flip the notion of rejection on its head. Him and his buddies were curious as to how to approach women in a chivalrous way, as to how to lead truthful lives, and as to how to “get lucky.” With the fear of rejection as their biggest obstacle, the challenge became the goal, and the project became a mechanism for growth. 

Each throwing $20 into the pot, the first person to get rejected 20 times won all the money. The journey ended up being far more rewarding than the prize money, with many of the men discovering what it takes to put yourself out there and make a pretty lady smile. 

In what area of your life are you afraid of being rejected? How can you expose yourself to the possibility of being rejected 10 times this week? Through action comes growth.

5. Embrace negative emotions. When we numb sadness and pain, we numb joy and happiness. Feeling the depths of our lows enables us to fully feel the depths of our highs. It’s all connected. 

When a recent relationship ended, I felt like I got kicked in the face and punched in the heart. It was awful. I didn’t leave my couch for an entire day. I meandered around Boulder feeling empty and confused. I cried. A lot.

In the past, my natural tendency would have been to fix the situation by thinking positively. Or, distract myself through wine with friends or through something else new and exciting. Instead, I let myself fully experience the depths of my sadness. It was a rough few days but after about a week, I began feeling more energized and alive than I had in months. Now, I feel amazing and grateful for what I learned. Allowing myself to feel and process the pain enabled me to move forward. And now the ex and I are on great terms as friends. 

Pay attention to how you respond to sadness and pain. Is that when your vices come out to play? Do you push away negative emotions? How can you allow yourself to fully process them?

To be vulnerable is to be deeply seen. It’s to love with your whole heart and to put yourself out there. To feel vulnerable is to be alive—to exist as your most beautiful self. 

How do you exercise vulnerability? What has it done for your life? Share your story in the comments below!

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Thanks to Whitney for inspiring it and Sylvia for reading the draft.

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